


I know the world's a broken bone

by ElephantLoveMedley



Series: Nothing matters but you [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Healing, M/M, Moon, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElephantLoveMedley/pseuds/ElephantLoveMedley
Summary: "Kev." Jean stood up and limped all the way to the closet. He cupped Kevin's cheeks and saw tears in his eyes. "Kevin, my prince, what's wrong?"Kevin didn't meet his gaze when he said: "You're not property anymore, Jean."(Or: Jean's life away from Kevin and him growing into himself, becoming his own person.)
Relationships: Kevin Day/Jean Moreau
Series: Nothing matters but you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657633
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	I know the world's a broken bone

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing the moon as a she, because in my country it's feminine. I realized after, but I decided to keep it, because in French it's still La Lune and because it made it feel the scenes more intimate I think.   
> I hope you like it. 
> 
> The title is from Northern Downpour by Panic at the disco

Jean didn't understand the need for balance, the universe thrived on chaos after all. Entropy and all that. He didn't care about the equilibrium and the apparent peace of an immovable object. He understood that now. 

He liked his socks mismatched and his heart so full it could burst. He liked the sun burning his skin and his hair long and messy. He liked uneven grounds, so different from the turf on the exy court. He liked odd numbers and that had been a small consolation for the three on his cheek, he couldn't have tolerated a four, or worse, a six. 

That's why he didn't get all that fuss about Ravens travelling in pairs. He thought it would have saved him and Kevin a lot of scars if Riko would have allowed the three of them to stay together. Jean had never battled for Kevin, he didn't want to fight, but it hadn't been his fault if Kevin liked spending time with him more than he did with Riko. 

Accepting the inevitable entropy of the universe would have saved them a lot of troubles. It took too much work to keep everything balanced, too much force. And, after all, you needed unbalanced forces to create movement and Jean had always needed to keep going. He could never rest, so it was fine by him. 

That's why getting used to the Trojans and their too long days made him restless. He laid awake at night, while Jeremy slept in the bed on the opposite side of the room. Jean loved sitting near windows, so Jeremy had rearranged the whole dorm just for him. Jean didn't get it, but he wouldn't turn down such an offer. 

Jean looked at the moon then: bright but not enough to burn, alone but not lonely. Jean sang to the moon sometimes, when he couldn't call Kevin and the memories of the nest became too powerful in his dark room. 

He would open the blinds, let the milky light filter in and sing quiet french to the moon. She felt like a friend sometimes, la Lune. Jean loved her like he loved his new teammates, like a new acquaintance.

The first time he had seen her, properly seen her, outside of the nest and with another kind of contract with Ichirou, she had been shining on Kevin's back, turning his black hair almost silver. Jean wondered then that Kevin would be beautiful even in old age, he would love him then too. He thanked the moon that night, for making him realise that he had a future and that it might not be impossibly bright, but it still glimmered. 

Kevin hadn't woken up till the next morning, when the sun was already up, so Jean had to wait a whole day to introduce Kevin to this new light. That night Jean left Abby's courtains open and let the moon filter in, he hadn't allowed Kevin to fall asleep before she could shine. When she had been up in the sky, painting the room with soft shadows, Jean had pointed at her. He had ruffled Kevin's hair and told him that he would love him even when it became silver, he would still love him because of his heart of gold. Kevin had caressed his cheeks then, mirroring Jean's movements, but so much more tenderly. Jean thought that Kevin's hands had always been tender. 

Kevin had caressed his cheeks and shining tears had painted his green eyes, but the words spoken in soft french didn't quiver. Jean had replied with a small smile and a yes and Kevin had kissed him. 

Jean thought that Kevin's lips had always been tender. 

That night he started wondering that maybe it was all of Kevin to be kind. 

They fell asleep like the night before: Jean covered in bandages and Kevin making up for it with his bare chest. That night the moon still shone bright on his back and the scar on his hand looked like a vein of silver in an unknown mine. Jean could imagine it running all the way to Kevin's heart, to his mind, to his hands and becoming golden. 

Jean had kissed Kevin's forehead that night before going to sleep. 

All Jean's life had been in summer. He couldn't remember living in winter. He just remembered the sun of the beach in Marseille, where his mom used to bring him, and his sticky skin under Kevin's hands in Abby's house. He had never lived in winter and that just confirmed that all those ideas on balance were not well thought out. 

It was still summer when he came to the Trojans. It was still summer when Kevin brought him to his dorm to help him pack up something for his new life. Jean didn't have anything except for Kevin's book and the clothes he had been wearing when Renee came to rescue him. He was currently wearing a pair of Renee's sweatpants and one of Kevin's old sweaters. 

They were alone in Kevin's room, the rest of his friends to the court or in the kitchen, to keep an eye on him. Jean sat down on the bed and watched Kevin gift him so many things: orange t shirts, black sweatpants, a few pairs of basketball shorts. He smiled when Kevin put a swimsuit on top of the pile. 

"Do you think I'll go to the beach?"

Kevin turned around then. "I hope, I've always wanted to go, but I've never had the occasion. I want you to tell me everything about it, like you did with Marseille."

Jean nodded, but his smile fell a bit. "What if they don't want me to go?"

Kevin sat beside him, holding his hand and stroking his still uneven hair. "They will, Jean. I talked with Jeremy, he'll help you. You'll be fine there."

"Why can't I stay here?"

"You can, Jean." Kevin sighed. "You can, but this is not the place I would have chosen. Wyamck is my father, but it's easier to heal in California."

"You didn't come here because of Wymack."

"No, but I stayed because of him."

"Come to California, too."

Kevin squeezed his hand. "You know I can't."

Jean propped his chin on Kevin shoulder. "I know."

They stayed like that for a bit, Kevin carding his hair and Jean humming in soft french. 

He picked up the swimsuit. "What if I'm ugly in this?" He scrunched up his nose.

Kevin smoothed the wrinkles on his skin and kissed him gently. "You're not ugly, Jean. You never have been."

"What if I become it?"

Kevin hugged him. "You won't, Jean. Your heart won't allow it. You're good."

"I'm good." Jean nodded.

"You're perfect." Kevin kissed the small three on his cheek, the perfect number. 

They resumed their activity then: Kevin picking clothes and Jean nodding along. At some point a green tie made it to his hands, he stroked the edges of it, trying to rub away the blood he could still remember was there. 

"Why haven't you given me one of your jerseys? Wouldn't it be easier than parting ways with your new t shirts?"

"Your name's not Day, it's Moreau."

"And so? I like your name."

Kevin didn't turn around and Jean knew there was more to that. 

"Kev."

Kevin didn't make a sound.

"Kev." Jean stood up and limped all the way to the closet. He cupped Kevin's cheeks and saw tears in his eyes. "Kevin, my prince, what's wrong?"

Kevin didn't meet his gaze when he said: "You're not property anymore, Jean."

Jean didn't understand at first, but then everything clicked. Kevin couldn't bear watching him with another person's name on his back.

"You're your own person. You always have been."

"I know." Jean whispered. "I just wanted to take a piece of you with me, like the book." He wiped Kevin's eyes. "I promise I won't wear it, just leave me something, please."

Kevin took off his official sweater then. He was standing there in a tank top and bare feet, holding a used sweater. Jean had never seen something more beautiful. He took off his sweater too, he knew it had been Kevin's in the first place, but he had nothing to bargain with. They switched clothes and when Jean put his on, he was engulfed by Kevin's scent. He was home. 

Jeremy usually found him asleep in the mornings. Most of the times Jean waited for the moon to disappear before closing his eyes. He didn't want to be disrespectful. 

Other times he didn't manage to keep his eyes open, so he said his goodbyes and let himself be dragged under. He figured it was okay: on some nights the moon wouldn't be there too, leaving him only with stars above his head. He figured the moon had bad days too, it was okay to take some rest.

Jean liked his life at USC, he figured it would have been difficult to not like anything that wasn't the ravens. He still had troubles keeping friends and having long conversations: he didn't know a lot of things, he hadn't read a lot of books and he didn't really know what he liked; but the Trojans were kind with him. He liked Jeremy, Laila and Sara. They let him talk about Alexander the Great and didn't tell him to shut up when he sang French lullabies. He also talked about Kevin, not always, but when he felt the need to. Kevin had told him that they didn't have to hide anymore, so he didn't.

Rhemann had called him in his office once. Jean had been scared, but he didn't really had a reason to be. Coach had always been kind to him, but he also knew how little it took to convert kindness in rage. When he walked there, he did it with a straight back, ready to fight, but Rhemann had just handed him a small white box.

"I know you use the phones in the library. I figured you might like some privacy for your calls." 

Jean opened the box and found a small cell phone.

"Besides, I like to be able to reach all my players at anytime."

Jean could have cried. He just nodded and went to his dorm.

That night he asked Jeremy to help him set it up. When he was ready he punched in Kevin's number by heart. He was so excited. 

Kevin replied on the third ring. "Hello?" 

He was wary, Jean hadn't thought about the effect that an unknown number would have on Kevin. He cursed himself.

"Mon roi." He started. "It's me-"

"Jean!" Kevin's voice on the other end was giddy. 

He could feel the rustling of the sheets on the other end, Kevin was getting up. He heard some muffled voices from Kevin's room. Kevin just replied with a sheepish "It's Jean." before closing a door.

"Jean. Is it really you?"

Jean laughed. "It is, Kev. It is." He could see Jeremy looking at him with a strange expression from the other end of the room.

"It's so good to hear your voice."

"Yours too, Kevin."

They talked the whole night, staring at the same moon. Kevin fell asleep to the sound of Jean's deep voice singing the softest words and to the promise to hear some stories from the beach. 

Jean didn't really know when his birthday was, Riko hadn't really allowed it. The Trojans didn't manage to find out either, so they decided one for him. They settled on the 29 of November, because 29 was now his number (an odd one) and because they were in November, so they wouldn't have to wait anymore.

They brought him to the beach. It was colder than in September, but he still thought that California lived in an eternal state of summer.

They went there after practice and started a fire. Jeremy played his guitar and the Trojans sang him happy birthday. He found it a bit silly, but he wouldn't turn down his first birthday party. They even had gifts for him, so many gifts. 

He opened them and found that they all had given him money for his phone, so that he could call Kevin without worrying. He was so grateful. He even smiled at them, then excused himself. 

He left his shoes near the fire and walked in the cold sand till he met the waves. He cuffed his pants, Kevin's pants, and dialed the number that he was sure he would never forget. The phone rang three times and then Kevin picked up.

"Jean."

Jean loved him. He loved him because everytime he picked up the phone, no matter the hour, he managed to sound so happy. Jean loved him. 

"I love you, Kev."

"I love you too, Jean." And there wasn't hesitation there. Not that Jean wasn't expecting it. He knew Kevin, he knew them. They were them and they were sure. 

"I know, Kev."

"It's good, Jean. Never forget it."

"I won't." He smiled then. "It's my birthday today, Kev."

He could hear Kevin laugh a little. "It is?"

"Yes. The Trojans told me."

"Did you like your birthday?"

"Yeah, but I wish I could share it with you."

"I'm here."

"I know." He kicked at the sand. "And I'm here." He sat down on the beach. "I'm at the sea, Kevin. You should see it. It's so big and dark and the moon makes it shine. It's like sitting between two skies."

"You'd like that, eh?" Kevin was smiling. He could hear him. "You'd like to live in a world made of sky. You always liked the light, Jean."

"I do." He let the waves wet his trousers. He didn't care. "I was thinking about my tattoo."

"Yeah?" Kevin prompted, but did not push. They had already talked about it in the past. 

Jean had asked him so many times why he had finally decided to change it. Everytime Kevin's answer had been the same: "When I started understanding that I could win, that I wasn't them anymore. I was my own person and I was their enemy."

Jean never felt like he was someone's enemy. He didn't want to be, but he was his own person now. He understood that. He was free. 

"I want to get the moon. The rising one, when she's still small."

Kevin chuckled. "You like the light."

Jean couldn't help but agree. Everytime he heard Kevin laugh, he fell a little bit more in love with him. He sure loved the light. "I love the light. The quiet one. It's easy to forget about darkness when the sun is shining so bright, but it's in the moments when darkness seems to overcome us that the moon comes out to remind us that the light exists. She's gentle and she needs to take a break, too, at times."

"That's beautiful, Jean."

"You're beautiful, Kev." He could imagine him blushing now. "Can I ask you for a present?"

"Of course, you'll have to wait till I fly to California, but I'll give you whatever you like."

"Can I wear your sweater tonight?"

He could tell that Kevin was fighting a battle with himself.

"I'm my own person now, Kevin. I'm no one's property. I'm just your lover and tonight's my birthday."

They stayed in silence for a bit, only the sound of the ocean and the static of the line. Kevin just breathed for a bit, in and out. Jean could imagine him counting the seconds of each intake.

When he finally talked he could hear Kevin's smile in his voice. "I'll wear yours." some rustling and after a bit. "Happy birthday, Jean."

"Thank you, Kev."

That night, holding on to his phone and being warmed up by Kevin's sweater, Jean felt at home.


End file.
